Dreams of Paradise (REWRITTEN)
by IhugNico
Summary: ((Please note! This is a revision of the original work of mine Dreams of Paradise, much has been removed/changed.)) A trio of misfits, a scarring past, they seek acceptance..or at least a form of it, a paradise so to speak. But, that was the stuff of fairytales. (Human AU) Warnings for later gore and graphic imagery.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello! Ah, to keep introductions short I"ve decided to try my hand at doing another fanfiction. Ah, as my mind seems void of ideas for a fanfiction, I've decided to rewrite an older one that never got finished and I still rather like. Now, be warned as this is a re-write many things are changed. ELise and Peter are no longer a couple, the plot may change I may add or remove from the original work. But anyhow, hope you enjoy! I've improved quite a bit since I first wrote this! **_

Three small figures were outlined against the snow. If one were to look, they would probably assume that they were children playing.

They didn't know how wrong they were.

A curly-haired boy glanced back and forth nervously, frost coated his eyelashes. He was shaking, both from the cold and from fear. He huddled in his coat, puffing and watching as his breath formed in front of him. Cold wasn't something he was unfamiliar to, however. He looked at the frozen pond, the smooth reflective ice. It was like a mirror, less quality than the shards of glass that he sometimes found, the ones that perplexed him. The ones that he would simply stare, wondering if that was really him in it. Well, at least the pond didn't cut up his palms if he wasn't careful.

He went over and stared at it. A nervous blue-eyed boy stared back at him, and once again that question was brought up in his head "is that really me?". He sure didn't look like much, whoever that boy in the ice was. Scruffy bruised up face, hair shoddily chopped short to avoid the nuisance that was tangling. Even his jacket was coming apart at the seems, bits of padding sticking out here and there and whatever was left of the fur either clumped or falling out. What a strange little boy, this was also repeated over and over in his head...indeed, what a strange sight.  
He yelped, or maybe yelped was too dignified of a term. It was more of a squeak of a mouse, or if he wanted to sound tough the squeak of a rat. A snowball had hit him on the back of the head, sending him face-first into the ice. (That strange boy in the pond did the same.)

A laugh could be heard from behind him, it wasn't exactly a mystery who it was and yet he didn't want to get up to check. A thousand "what ifs" went through his head. What if that little fall had broken something. (No, he didn't feel intense pain). Maybe it had killed him, snapped his tiny neck. (There seemed to be a lack of angels or hellfire for that…) Maybe he had fallen into the pond, if that was the case there was no reason to keep going. (He didn't feel wet, he wasn't drowning.)  
He didn't want to get up, he was too tired to get up. He just wanted to lay there on that ice, lay there until the grim reaper called his name. Least he would be warm, because God knew he wasn't going to heaven. Maybe it would be better, maybe the devil would take pity on his soul, forgive his sins…  
"Ravis! Come on, RayRay, wake up!" Ah, there was the oppressor. THat put a stop to his "what-ifs" in his head.  
The boy, the one called Raivis, looked up at the other, giving a grunting noise in acknowledgement. Why couldn't he be left alone, wouldn't it be better that way? One less mouth to feed, Peter and Elise deserved it more. They could do without him, maybe they'd grow up and have kids Name them after their fallen comrade…  
"Okay, now you're being ridiculous. I'm going to sit on you if you don't get up." The other boy huffed, folding his arms over his chest. "You have to the count of three, one...two…."  
"Oh, stop it!" Elise to the rescue, God bless her. She rushed over to the two. "What if you hurt him? That must've been a nasty fall!"  
"I was just playing, snowballs never hurt anyone!"  
"Peter, shut up, and put a scarf on!" She took off her own scarf and tucked it around his neck, much to the complaints of the boy, Peter it was.

She shooed him away before leaning down to Raivis, still in a heap on the ice. It was starting to feel nice now, he really didn't want to move.  
"Raivis, sweetie, please get up. You're scaring all of us." Ever so gently she pulled the sleepy child into a sitting position. He still gave weak grunts in annoyance but at this point they were ignored.  
Elise huffed, fixing his coat and pulling the collar up over his nose.  
"Oh, your coat's falling apart again, come off the ice and we'll get it fixed, alright?"  
A weak nod, barely noticeable, but it didn't go unseen. She got to her feet, hauling the other up with her.  
Peter glared pointedly at them, "He's fine, it isn't like it's the first time he's crashed in the ice. He crashes into everything!" He snickered to himself at that last part, and was countered with a disapproving stare.  
"Why don't you go look for some berries or firewood?" She busied herself again with the smaller boy, fixing his hair, wrapping his arms around her neck so he didn't have to walk. (It's fine, he didn't want to…).  
Either way, it was a really lame excuse to get rid of him, there were obviously no berries this time of year and they had plenty firewood. However, Peter obliged, turning and storming through some bushes.  
Finally. Elise carried Raivis back to their little camp area, sitting him down on the log they had built their tent next to.  
"Are you cut up in anyway? Do you need medicine? I think we still have some." She started to dig in their duffle bag, the one that held everything they owned. Finally producing a plastic bag with a bent needle and a single tiny spool of thread. She took Raivis' arm and started to sew up the hole in the sleeve. It was only so the padding wouldn't come out and leave him freezing. Not appearance-wise though she did try to make her boys as...presentable as possible. As presentable as a band of hobo orphans could be.  
When she finished she put the items away and dug through the bag again, maybe he was hungry? It wasn't out-of-character for him to be out of it like this, at least as of late-  
Had she heard screaming? No, there wasn't another human for miles besides those three. UNless…  
Oh god.  
Oh nonononono. Even though she wanted to be gentle with him, she ended up almost throwing Raivis into the tent as she ran off to find the source of the scream.  
Well, it wasn't an emergency, thank god. Peter had gotten his foot caught between a rock and a root going down a ledge. Nothing too big, really.  
She sighed, sliding down the ledge to sit in front of him and clicking her tongue in annoyance. "You need to watch where you're going, be careful! We might not need to get you out the next time you get stuck!"  
So she pulled the root out, of the ground, bad news for whatever plant it belonged to. Peter, obviously, hadn't collected any firwood or berries. That root would do for now, she guessed. So with that they made their way back to camp. Elise didn't baby Peter like she did Raivis, he wasn't traumatised to the point of being unable to function normally. Ah, but really who could blame the poor child after what had happened.  
Thankfully, when they returned said poor child hadn't let or been kidnapped by cannibalistic mountain men. He used to always fret about such unlikely scenarios. (What if he never did again?)  
But, right now it was time to eat dinner and sleep. Elise dug in their bag and produced a cold can of soup. She used a small pocketknife to cut off the top and served it out accordingly, in which they passed it around taking a spoonful until it was empty.  
Peter made quick job puttng out the flames and they were left in complete dark, at least tonight the moon was full. It left them enough ight to pack up their things and crawl into their tent, it was built for one person but they all had to share.  
THey slept with Raivis in the middle, this was per request but not the most comfortable position with his bony frame shivering against them the whole night. They had somewhat learned to get used to it.

And so that was that, a ragtag trio of sorts. Runaways, street trash, whatever you'd liket ocall them, that's what they were. What exactly was their goal, really? Just to find a place where they could belong, where they wouldn't be looked at with disgust and upturned noses. Where they would be loved by a parent, or a parental figure at least. This was what they had been void of for so long…  
A paradise, maybe.  
A paradise would be nice.  
That was only a dream, though, a wonderful dream...


	2. Chapter 2

Raivis was the first awake the next day, he didn't make this known out of fear of waking the others. He was trapped and any wrong movement would've shaken them both awake. So he lay there, trying to close his eyes and fall once again into oblivion. However that little hole in the tent seemed to be just in the right position for sunlight to land directly on his right eye. He would have to ask Elise to patch that up later, it had been there a while and he was often in this situation often, with the first shred of light awaking him due to his burning eye. But he never bothered anyone about it, it wasn't that big of a deal, there were more important things to attend to.

He yawned, at least started to, before promptly snapping his mouth shut and glancing around with a panicked expression. Had he woken the others? Hopefully not..of course whatever god might be out there worked everything the opposite of what he wanted, as Peter started to move.

He sat up and stretched, grunting as he did. He just sat there for a moment, legs sprawled and staring bleary-eyed at the tent door. What exactly was he doing…? Hell if Raivis knew, he simply watched the boy and hoped that he would leave the tent and give up his spot. That way the sun would be out of his eyes. Unfortunately, he plopped back down and rolled over. For some reason Raivis took this as a cue to roll over as well, and in that he was Elise wasn't there. Why hadn't he noticed before…?

Peter was fast asleep at this point, and even in an unconscious state wanted to take advantage of the space. Unfortunately this involved tripping Raivis on his way out. He landed on his face with a squeak. Peter didn't notice, he continued to snooze. Raivis felt warmth on his lip and wiped it. Ah, he was bleeding. He always was fragile…

Either way, he finally made it out of the tent and into the snowy field. Ah, snow. He loved snow. It always felt nice on his usually aching body. He could live in snow if he was able to, there was no doubt about wanting to. But he couldn't lay down and sleep in the snow now, there were other things to attend to. Where had Elise run off to?

He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked forward, burying his nose into his collar. What if she had been kidnapped, or maybe she fell and got hurt? Or fell and broke her neck...What if she fell through the ice and drowned? Once again his mind went off to make sure he stayed miserable and afraid.

Luckily, they were all wrong, he found Elise on her knees staring at the ice. What was so interesting about that ice? Raivis trotted over to her, maybe his questions would be answered? Of course he couldn't ask, oh of course not. (That's a story Miss Author will get into later.) But sometimes body language was enough, eyes could be read, etc. So with that in mind he sat next to her.

It took a minute for Elise to notice him, but when she did she didn't act startled at all. She simply smiled at him and folded her hands in her lap. "You're probably wondering what I'm doing, eh?"

No response, not like she expected anything else.

"There's fish in here, you see?" She pointed to the place on the ice where her hands had been resting. Her body heat had melted it just enough for it to be clear, the ice wasn't too thick. It was just coated with a thin layer of snow.

Sure enough, there were fish swimming around in the water. It would be good for restocking food. If only they could store it, oh well. It would feed them for a couple days.

Elise smiled again, "We should try to catch some. Let's see…" She looked around for a minute, finally pulling a rock and smashing it into the ice, shattering the thin layer. "Okay ah, now…How do we catch them?" She puffed her cheeks out and sat back, looking to Raivis for help.

He panicked a bit being put on the spot like that, but he looked around anyway. His eyes fell on a sharp stick. He picked it up and handed it to her. Perhaps they could try to spear them?

"That could work." She took the stick and stared at the water, scrunching her eyebrows in concentration. Every so often trashing out and stabbing into the water. It took awhile just to come up with one fish.

Once they had gotten that fish, Elise had exausted her arm and folded her legs to rest. "Raivis, I've been thinking."

Raivis glanced at her, tilting his head slightly.

"Well, we're searching for a paradise, right?" She asked, looking at him.

He blinked and nodded.

"Well, what if this is our paradise?" She said, getting more excited at this point.

He still looked confused. This…? Maybe to him, with the thick layer of snow and such. But to Elise and Peter…?

She gestured to the surrounding area. "Maybe this place here isn't so bad in the winter. I mean the pond has fish and it's a pretty forest."

He thought for a minute, glancing around. She did have a point, the only problem was lack of civilization out this far. How would they get basic necessities? Or the money for them? Or…perhaps if that place was that nice in the summer there was a tourist center? Or if it was nice enough snow a ski center? There was silence for a while, until he finally shook his head.

She looked surprised, "No?"

He didnt look at her, but nodded again. Something felt...off. Something wasn't right. He didn't know what, but he could feel it in his gut.

Elise sighed and sat back. "Alright, so maybe this isn't our paradise. Oh well...We'll find it soon, I promise!"

Raivis smiled a little, she meant well, at least.


	3. Chapter 3

It is at this point in the story that has decided to break her own "fourth wall" and tell the story of Raivis. Or at least why he is so quiet in this story.

Let's start at the point in which Elise had found him. It was rather odd, something one would expect out of a novel. But I am the Author, so I suppose I wrote it this way for a reason. It was just her and Peter at the time, at the beginning. They had only been traveling together for about a week. And at the current point in the story they are reaching a year.

Elise had been searching for some shelter, or as Peter had suggested a place to steal food. Oh, while they didn't want to resort to petty thievery they really had no choice. Perhaps, ask kindly was a better way to term it. Whoever would refuse to feed a pair of twelve-year-olds was heartless and cold, not worth anyone's time.

It was a rather odd place in which they found a large house. Not mansion-worthy. But still a pretty good size. There was a little wood shelter with a name written in Cyrillic across the top, just over the doorway. Most likely a dog house. But there was no dog in sight, then again in this snowy weather any pet owner would keep their animals inside.

Anyway, so there she was, standing in front of this dog house. She wasn't exactly interested in it though, more interested in the looming black house behind it. It was...oh maybe three stories high? OR perhaps two with a too-tall roof. Whatever the case, it was a house. That meant there were people. Odd...a house this deep in the mountains? Guess they liked being alone.

She started to walk to the house, already preparing a speech in her head. Maybe play up their story a bit to make her sound more pathetic. She couldn't say she had no parents, they'd send her straight back to the orphanage. And oh lord had she spent enough time breaking out of there. Maybe say she had an ill mother, she wanted to get her something nice…

Her chain of thought was snapped when she heard yelling coming from the house. It was in Russian, she of course didn't understand. Male, a little high pitched, and very angry. She heard a bang and jumped in place. A...was that a gunshot? She didn't take her chances and started to run when the door was flung open.

A tall, heavy built man was standing in the doorway. He was holding something in one hand and what looked like a pipe hung over his shoulder. She ran and hid in a bush to see what played out, surprisingly it could survive in this environment.

The tall man continued forward. Was he dragging...a person? Yes, a boy probably not much older than her. He had curly blond hair and his eyes were closed, groaning. The man threw the boy down in the snow in front of the dog house, glaring intensely.

The boy sat up, saying something in Russian, probably a plea. This only angered the man, he kicked the boy in the head, sending him down to the ground again and took the pipe off his shoulder. He beat the boy with this exactly two times, on the second time a sickening crunch was heard and the boy's blond hair was stained with red.

It had at least satisfied the cruel man, for he left back into the house, leaving the boy there. Maybe...it wasn't a dog house. Elise didn't know, she couldn't see the name on the shed. With the man gone, she ran over to the boy, worried out of her mind.

"Hello, sir? AH, are you alright…?"

NO response, he was unconscious or...no she couldn't think that way. Now that she was standing in front of the dog house she could read the name.

"Afonya…? Is that you? Are you Afonya?" Well, there was no sense trying to talk to him.

Skipping through boring parts, Peter found her quickly and they proceeded to carry the boy back to the little town they had just came from. There was a nice old woman they had met there, and perhaps she could help them. No doubt the boy needed immediate medical attention.

When they got back to the town and found the woman, unfortunately she didn't know how to treat him. She did, however, bring them to the hospital. She acted as their grandmother, and they took the boy back immediately seeing the state he was in.

Elise would've told him that he was beat by some...horrible demon man. But that would give away everything. Plus she didn't even know the boy's name, much less his father's (assuming that man was his father). How far would that get them?

She had told the doctors his name was Afonya, since she didn't know any better. With that they took him back to be operated on, and the three sat in the lobby, waiting for results. Hopefully positive, Elise hoped to god he wasn't dead.

An hour passed, Peter had fallen asleep. Elise couldn't sleep, not until she figured out what happened to the boy. And finally, after it seemed she had chewed her nails clean off. The doctor came out.

She stuffed her hands into her pockets, "Well, I have good and bad news."

Good news? That meant he was alive, right? RIght…? Then...what was the bad news?

She wasted no time going into explaining. "Well, he's alive. That's the good news. Bad news, he took a really nasty blow to the head. He has a concussion and from x-rays he's taken a great deal of damage to the Broca's area. That being said, he can no longer speak."

No speech…? Well, it was better than being dead.

"We're going to keep him for a bit, if that's okay."

Elise nodded, still mulling over this news. At this the old woman repeated the gesture and the doctor started down the hall.

Miss Author hopes this small story has cleared up any and all confusion of Raivis's speech impairment, and the story will continue along the given plotline.

_**Friendly reminder that reviews do give me motivation to continue and are appreciated! I even accept constructive criticism, as this story is just a practice. **_


	4. Chapter 4

_**This chapter is a bit boring in the beginning since I decided to cut out the cannibals, to make up for it this one will be longer.**_

It was late in the day, oh by a guess about the afternoon, when the trio had started to head off to the next town. They needed to restock and could use a rest from the wilderness for a couple days. So they continued on their way, Peter was told to carry the bag and Elise led the way. Raivis, of course, trailed behind. As we have previously learned, it wasn't out of the ordinary so it wasn't given question. Elise would simply stop every so often to check on them, but as said it wasn't just for Raivis.

While going so slow Raivis was able to look around and take in the scenery. There were no animals out, they were all safely in their homes with their food and young. Wouldn't it be nice to be a rabbit, if he was lucky enough he could be a house pet. Adored by hoards of people and treated with nothing but kind words and food. Kept in a cage to keep him safe, (he rather be in a cage than out in the wild where all the world could attack him). What a lovely dream...a lovely life…

Raivis had lucked out on that, however. Instead he was shoved into a broken human body and told to survive. At this rate it would be a miracle if he survived past seventeen. Maybe he was a rabbit, in a sense. A wild one, though. A rabbit...scared, unable to speak, alone and helpless, a miracle if they survived to 17.

Raivis continued to ponder this when he tripped and fell onto his face. Damn...whatever it was he had fallen over. A rock or maybe a root. He wheezed in annoyance, sitting up and folding his legs. He turned around to look and see what it was he had fallen on. So it was a rock...or...was it?

He crawled forward to inspect it, digging up the snow around it and cupping his hands to pull it up. What a curious looking rock, almost white in appearance. He frowned starting to turn it over...and immediately dropping it with a silent scream.

Oh god, oh god that wasn't a rock. It was a skull, canine most likely. It had grey fur still clinging to the scalp. A single faded yellow eye lolled in its socket, long worn out its use and yet still watching him.

He scrambled to his feet, turning tail and fleeing He nearly crashed into Elise, who stopped and turned to look at him, "Rai…vis?"

Said boy was hugging her tightly with his eyes squeezed shut, shaking like a leaf.

"What's wrong? Did you see something?"

He nodded, calming down and starting to try and drag her away, far far away from that thing. Wolves were the last thing they needed. Elise wondered what had spooked him, but she wasn't sure she wanted to find out. So she didn't object to being pulled along.

Peter wasn't so perceptive of the situation, he came running up to them, grinning from ear to ear. "Hey, look at this! Cool, huh?" He held up the wolf skull in question, sending Raivis into a panicky fit again.

Elise looked at it, then at Raivis. "Is that what scared you?"

He nodded, trying to calm down his shaking. And once he had responded she glared at Peter. He dropped the skull, putting his hands up in a defensive manner. "Hey, calm down! I didn't know!"

Elise scoffed at him, returning her attention to Raivis. "It's dead, see? No wolves to worry about, alright?" She smiled reassuringly, "Wolves aren't going to get you…"

He nodded again, closing his eyes and sighing through his nose.

"Good, can you go on or do we need to stop and rest?" She waited for his response.

Raivis looked around, weighing his decision before pointing forward, signalling he wanted to go on. Elise nodded and they started on their way once again.

….

It was almost night time by time they got to the town, it wasn't too big but it wasn't too small. It had a small amount of houses, some trailers and RVs (probably tourists stopping for food). Speaking of food, there was a gas station and a pub close together, the pub was attached to a trashy motel. Up on the hill a mansion loomed, a little more than out of place here.

Half way down the mountain Elise had started to carry Raivis, and sat him down now that they were on level ground. She sighed, putting her hands on her hips and smiling.

"Alright, first off let's get ourselves familiar with this place. Then we find a place to stay tonight and restock in the morning. We'll also have to figure out how long we want to stay here." She put a finger on her bottom lip and glanced around, continuing on her way down the sidewalk. "Actually, first let's rest…"

She turned into an alley and sat down on a cardboard box, stretching. "Ah...man, I'm worn out."

Peter set his bag down, "It's from carrying this fatass." He grinned, nudging Raivis playfully. He didn't mean to be rude, it was just good-natured teasing. But Raivis didn't really take it that way, he hid it though.

Elise glared at him, "Language!" She scoffed, cuffing his ear.

Footsteps could be heard and they went quiet, Elise looked over her shoulder to see who was coming. IF they looked nice enough, they could set up their begging routine. Two boys...or maybe it was a boy and a girl? It was hard to tell with one of them. The boy had fiery red hair and a nasty scar across his nose. Well-dressed, and an iPhone in one hand. The other child of questionable gender had white hair, tied in twin braids that went down to their waist and tied off with pretty purple ribbons. He was dressed more casual, a red beanie lazily covered what could only be guessed as messy hair. This was given to a fact a stray strand poked out and flipped up over the hat. Along with a purple t-shirt and jeans. They were both around the trio's age.

The red-head was talking rapidly to the other. "So I told dad to call up the guy, the guy whoever made this goddamn game. Tell him it was too hard for anybody to do! And guess what dad said? He said he couldn't do that! What a bunch of shit, am I right?"

What a brat… Elise thought. The two continued until they passed by the alley, it was the white haired one who noticed them first.

"Hey, look at that." he...she...they? Whatever, the white-haired one said, pointing at the trio.

Red-head-brat (as Elise had dubbed him in her mind) turned to look at them, "Oy, who're you three? You new here, one of the tourists? Where're your parents?" He didn't have a very nice tone of voice, oh she didn't appreciate that.

"What's it to you?" she huffed, crossing her arms.

The white haired...child...sighed and starting twirling his braid. "He doesn't mean to be rude, I apologize...We just aren't used to seeing strange children around these parts this late at night."

Peter grinned at them. "You guys orphans too, huh? Is this your spot?"

Red-head-brat scoffed, "Orphans? Dirty street rats? Disgusting! Also pitiful...I almost feel bad…" He folded his arms, scowling at the three. "Well, aren't you going to invite us in?"

Elise wanted to do anything but, but already Peter was pulling over some boxes for them to sit on. The two walked in, Red-Head-Brat sitting next to Raivis and Questionable-Gender sitting next to Elise.

Questionable-Gender twirled their braid, sighing. "I apologize for him, he doesn't exactly understand the term "hospitality". Uhm…Let's start with names." They smiled at her, "I'm Edwin, this is Love." _**(A.N Pronounced Loo-veh.)**_

Edwin! So they were male!

Elise nodded politely at him, he was at least nicer than Love. "Elise," She gestured to her boys. "Peter, and Raivis."

Peter was fascinated by the one called Love. "Wow, how'd you get that scar?"

Love puffed up his chest, grinning. "I got attacked by a wild dog! He nearly got my eye, luckily I was smart enough to grab a rock and smash his nose i-"

Before he could finish Edwin rolled his eyes and grabbed his chin, "Oh please." He rubbed his finger along the other's nose. "It's theatre make-up."

Sure enough, it rubbed off, he yelled at him and pushed his hand away. "Damn you!"

Elise giggled, unfortunately he noticed. "Oh, so you think that's funny, huh?"

She nodded, putting her hands in her lap. "It's silly, pretending to be so epic. From the looks of it you're probably a spoiled brat that would get surgery to fix it should a scar ever plague your perfect skin."

Unfortunately, it was true. "Hey, I'll have you know I did live on the streets at one point! But unlike you all I'm cute and likable, so someone took me in!"

She looked to Edwin, grinning stupidly. He simply nodded. "It's true, actually. He did live on the streets for a month or two. The nice couple that lives up in that mansion over there adopted him. Spoiled ever since…"

Love grunted, sitting down again and folding his legs. "So what about you three? What're your stories?"

Elise sighed, frowning a bit. "I suppose it couldn't hurt to tell…"

"We'll start with Raivis, since his is the shortest. He had an incredibly abusive father. His mother died, leaving the two alone. And his father, oh what a monster! Beat him for no reason, made him do his work, if he didn't do his work beat him upside the head with a pipe or throw him out with the dog. The dog got treated better than he did, by the by. He...doesn't like to say what happened in between. One day Peter and I were looking for a place to stay the night. I saw his father first hand, drag him out in the snow and beat him into unconsciousness. We took him to the hospital, it was lucky he survived. But...his brain was damaged, he's been mute since…"

Edwin nodded. "Mute, huh? How tragic...I have an aunt, she's an opera singer. She's blind…" he sighed, "And what about your story?"

She sighed, closing her eyes. "All right...here it goes…"

_**Bonus points if you caught my reference with Edwin's aunt. uvu **_

**_And if you didn't catch on Edwin is Kugelmugel and Love is Ladonia!  
_**_**Love, by the by, is a real Swedish name, I assure you!**_  
_**But anyway the next chapter will be Elise and Peter's backstory. As always, please review! Critique if you like! **_


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